miaislying:

personsonable:

miaislying:

personsonable:

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

decay exists as an extant form of life

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

jencorpsichord:

listen pals, fuck all that “gentle reminder you would have been beautiful a fuckton of years ago” noise. your physical appearance is absolutely irrelevant and meaningless in the eyes of the great skeleton lord, who only sees beauty in the bones hidden beneath your putrid flesh. stay frosty

(Source: deceptipup)

otherwindow:

Mermaids: What do humans look like?
Centaur: They’re like me, but with two legs instead of four! :)
Mermaid: [imagining a centaur but the two back legs are missing so it’s dragging a long ass on the floor]
Mermaid: Hmm.

drownedinlight:

fuckboi: so you like batman

me: yeah, but not the way you like batman

fuckboi: what

me: i like that batman is a mess of a person and has like 7 kids and loves them all and respects women

@goshkanani

(Source: swingsetindecember)

wolfydrawings:

straightboyfriend:

hardest thing to learn during recovery is….. some of your misery is your own fault. you have to actively choose to stop wallowing in your own pain & start to recover. that means stop being self deprecating, start taking care of yourself, start eating healthy, start taking your hygiene seriously, even if it’s hard. & it is hard! but you must.

This is especially tricky if you have black and white thinking and anything being your fault feels like confirmation of everything bad you fear is true about you. It’s important to understand you can make mistakes on a limited scale and be to blame for some things and also have good qualities and get things right and improve and contribute to other people’s lives.


(Also on self-depreciation, it depends on what you mean by it. There’s a difference between having a sense of humor about your flaws and ‘jokingly’ calling yourself worthless. Don’t feel the need to give up laughing at yourself, but be honest and thoughtful if it starts to head towards trashing yourself.)

fuckaroundfindout:

Colin: Do you fart when you pee? My current girl says she can’t pee with the door open because that’s when she farts.

Colin: Like she’s been conditioned as a girl to not fart outside private times so it’s almost automatic when she pees.

Colin: That a thing? Like a lady thing? Pee time is fart time?

Me: …It’s Christmas, man.

Colin: Oh can you not fart on Jesus holidays?

Me: …No.

Colin: Huh. Learn something new every day huh Ksauce?